I was thinking about heading down to Mexico – about an hour south of here – to pick up a new fake Gucci purse, some discount non-prescription penicillin, and maybe a handful of valium for the upcoming holiday festivities. Meeting my new husband’s family members, fireworks and a few long flights certainly call for a half of a valium.
So, my question is: Is taking half a valium so I can peacefully get through a flight a bad thing? Am I breaking my sobriety (I don’t think so)? Am I breaking the law (probably)? Does the fact that I can take one and not need or want another one mean that I am simply OK with it? Does my previous addiction to alcohol cross over to absolutely everything that has an effect on my body? Most recovering alcoholics would say yes. I say no.
Like I have said here before, I am known to take cough medicine (with alcohol) when I am sick. I beg for the nitrous oxide at the dentist – and breathe excessively deeply. I’ll take the odd Tylenol PM if I can’t sleep, and I’ll take a Vicodin after a root canal. Does that make me a bad person? Does that make me a failed alcoholic?
These things I don’t tell my AA friends, not because I personally think they are wrong, but because I will be harassed and accused of not sticking to my sobriety. I don’t believe that to be true. I am coming up on 14 years without even a single urge to drink again.
So, what do you think? Am I right or wrong? What’s your experience.